Monday, February 28, 2011

Pregnancy Comments

I was reading this article about things you should never to say to a pregnant lady and I almost couldn't contain my laughter. Here's the link in case you're interested.

I've gotten a few of those comments (Was it planned? Can I touch/see your belly? Enjoy ___ now because once the baby comes you can kiss it goodbye. You shouldn't eat/drink that or Are you sure you can eat/drink that? Get an epidural!) While these comments can be mildly annoying nothing compares to the comment I got last week from a perfect stranger.

Alex and I went out to eat wings with some of his co-workers. I was sitting across from this one guy who is a friend of a co-worker. We had never met before, but he seemed nice enough. We chit chatted about various things and I mentioned that I was pregnant. The evening went on normally.  At the end of the night when Alex and I were getting ready to leave this guy stops me and says, "Hey, make sure you're getting enough calcium, because if you don't it can ruin your teeth and bones, so you have to make sure to get enough calcium. Basically you have a parasite growing inside of you, so you have to make sure you get enough calcium. And iron. You need a lot of iron. I know I'm not your doctor, but I'm just concerned. So take a lot of iron, and vitamin D."


This guy was dead serious. He wasn't joking at all. He was seriously concerned for my well-being because of the parasite growing inside me and stealing all my nutrients. Umm, wow. All I could do was kind of laugh and say thanks. Does this guy think that all pregnant women are at risk of serious malnutrition? I know I need extra vitamins and all, and I'm definitely doing all I can to nourish myself and my baby in a healthy way, but I'm not dying. I'm just pregnant. It's perfectly normal. And what makes him think that I don't know how to take care of myself? And no, you're not a doctor, in fact, you're not a doctor at all, which is probably why you're so neurotic.

And my baby is not a parasite.

Have any of you pregnant ladies or mamas received any crazy or rude comments?
And I must say, if I ever said anything to offend you while you were pregnant I thoroughly apologize. I know how it feels now and I'll definitely be more careful with my words in the future.


Anonymous said...

yep, crazy pregnancy comments abound for all pregnant women to endure. Just wait till you have the kiddo and get all types of unsolicited parenting tips. :)

Megan said...

Yeah, I got some weird comments from substitutes at my school. These people who didn't know me at all gave me lots of unsolicited advice, touched my belly, and told me their pregnancy horror stories. Don't let people tell you pregnancy horror stories!

I think it got worse for me at the end when I was overly emotional, uncomfortable, and nervous about labor. I got sick of people I didn't know very well asking me in a very serious tone "how are you feeling?" I felt huge, pregnant, and pretty bad - but talking about it ten times a day certainly didn't help!

The last week I was pregnant with her, everyone at work (including a sub I had met once months before) said things like "you haven't had that baby yet?! I was only 38 weeks!

Brianne Colling said...

With William being a Honeymoon baby everyone thought it was OK to make fun of the pregnancy and call us out on "what we were doing" during our honeymoon. EW! I got so mad at one lady I snapped and said "YES we did what every NORMAL couple does on their honeymoon!". William was not planned but we were very happy to start our family so soon. It just grossed me out that people who I barely knew thought it was ok to talk about our sex life...GROSS!

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lauren V. said...

A parasite?!?! Obviously this guy is A) not married B) has no children and C) might need a lesson or two on what NOT to call a babe. Good grief.

Lauren V. said...

*baby! Or a babe, I guess :)

Krista said...

Someone told me a long time ago that you were a parasite growing inside me too....funny! and look at how gorgeous you are. By the way, I still have all my teeth and bones (never broke one) after two pregnancies and a bunch of years!

Jessica Girado said...

How funny!! I was going to blog about this same topic this week. Rude comments! I got told this weekend not to have a water birth because they're dangerous. I had to try hard not to laugh in that person's face.
I'll blog about it soon!

Jenny said...

Everybody would ask me "how do you feel" which is not rude at all but I got that question at least 10 times a day so it kinda got old... As for the random people touching my belly, I didn't mind at all cause I loved my belly. The most annoying thing people would say was that my belly was too small (at first) and stuff like "oh you're not pregnant liar" as a joke but my fav part of pregnancy is the belly so it made me feel a bit sad

Angela Del Favero said...

Oh, I remember those days... people who have no clue about pregnancy but feel it necessary to share their uneducated opinions or try to coach you. Even if they are meeting you for the first time and will never see you again in their life! Best thing to do is smile, be polite and change the subject... and remember you know what you're doing, they don't, and that they are not doctors... just over opinionated, and for the most part are not trying to offend you. Pregnancy has a strange effect on many people and they don't know how to react... classic foot in mouth syndrome.
From what I read from your posts, you are doing a wonderful job with your pregnancy, don't let anyone's dumb comments get you down!

Michelle said...

I don't think I got very many rude or weird comments...but everyone does like to tell you all about their pregnancy and/or birth story...I think it's just normal. You'll want to offer your two cents too, after you're done being pregnant and feel like you're an expert on it. :-)

But coming from a man...he needs to back off.

And, something funny, I seem to recall you posting a year or so ago about how it drove you crazy when all that pregnant women talk about is their pregnancy. Do you still feel the same way? :-D

Anonymous said...

lol, Michelle, it's more about the WAY some women talk about their pregnancies. The video referred more to women being smug about their pregnancies. I really try not to talk too much about my pregnancy, though it seems that's really all people ask me about, lol. But yeah, obviously it's a big part of life once you get pregnant and you want to talk about it, I just hate it when people refer to it as a "club" or something, I think it's insensitive to women who don't want to or can't have children. It's not a club and you don't have to be so snooty about it. Y'know? Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about it now that I'm out of the seminary world and the only pregnant lady I have daily contact with is myself. hah, I think we both know how many pregnant women surround you in a seminary environment. And the pressure to have a baby, etc etc.

Carmen said...

Hey Kristel, sorry to hear about your experience. Although I can only imagine how offended you must have felt because it was directed towards you and your baby personally, you need to keep in mind that the negative things people say only demonstrates who they really are. Your precious baby is not the problem, it's that really rude guy's mindset. Be glad that you know better and wouldn't make such poor comments. I feel sorry for that dude. Hope he learns what's socially appropriate SOON.