Friday, March 06, 2009

the single life

I've been married for almost ten months now...and I'm still not totally used to it. There are still some things that seem strange and foreign to me. 
I've loved getting to know Alex in a whole new way. I've loved setting up our apartment, making meals together, going grocery shopping, working side by side in the office. It's been really great. 

I can't lie though, there are some things that I miss about the single life. I think it's mostly because I never really enjoyed being single. I got into a "serious" relationship when I was 16 (I am now convinced that is too young to be dating!) which wasn't over until I was 19. I spent about a year being somewhat single (it's complicated, lol) and then I met Alex at the age of 20 and we've been together ever since. Now believe me, I love Alex and I would rather be married to him than not, but all you single ladies should enjoy being single! ::insert Beyonce tune here::

I didn't enjoy the freedoms that came along with being single. Too many Christians girls (and boys) are desperate to find the ONE and get hitched. Paul certainly understood the value of singleness. When you're single, you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself and God. When you're single you can go to McDonald's at one in the morning with your girlfriends and do donuts in the parking lot of the church when "Hey Ya" comes on the radio and sit around in Barnes & Noble drinking Starbuck's and reading magazines and art books. You can plan to go to the movies without checking in with anyone and make an impromptu trip to IHOP afterwards. You can drive to Orlando for the Cornerstone Festival and jump in the mosh pits. You can sit on the couch with your best friend eating Captain Jack's Buried Treasure (the best dessert of all time) and crying over when Harry finally professes his love for Sally
I didn't enjoy these things as much as I should have when I was single. It makes me a little sad that I probably neglected some great girl time because I didn't realize how special it was. [sorry, loves]

I suppose I could still do many of these things now that I am married...except all my best of friends are in Miami. And sometimes I miss them. Sometimes. ;-)
And making friends in a new place is harder than I imagined. Not that I haven't met some great people...but it's not as familiar or comfortable, and it feels as if "married girl friendships" are different from "single girl friendships." If that makes any sense. When you're married everyone has a busy schedule and making plans to hang out seems to be a more difficult task. 

The point is...being single is a beautiful thing...and being married is a beautiful thing. You should enjoy where you are in life instead of lamenting over what you don't have. Maybe I didn't enjoy the single life as much as I could have, but I am thoroughly enjoying married life! And I hope that I will be able to find a way to incorporate some meaningful girl time into my life. 

[some single girl fun]

[and the day I thought this guy might me someone]


Lauren said...

preach on sister...preach on.

Merari said...

holler. No offense to Alex but I wish I had known you when you were single... we woulda had some good times ;-)

Marcy said...

this is a great post... i think i've missed out on A lot of girl stuff... and yes both are very beautiful... pastor troy taught on single hood about two weeks ago and it was great... its on the site somewhere... take care guys..

Joseph said...

"And making friends in a new place is harder than I imagined." -- imagine how I felt when i came here in Miami!?? It's really hard in this culture to make friends! I do miss being single, as definitely, you have more freedom to do more. But unlike you, I enjoyed my singleness (I traveled the world, had a successful career in the Philippines, was very active in church ministries and had fun with girl- and boy- friends alike along the way) so by the time I got married, I was ready to settle down). I may miss being single once in a while, but I still prefer being married and have someone to share life with... :oD

Joseph said...

wait.. the comment above is from me, Jescel.. didn't know I was using Joe's ID.. :o)

Anonymous said...

This post is beautiful! ::smiles:: I'm glad we had Physics together in 11th grade. I'm down for girl time anytime :P

Anonymous said...

Awesome pics. I'm not going to lie, I also sometimes miss the "single" days but now we have great and different memories to build. (As married woman) Miss you tons, by the time you know you are done with SCHOOL!!! Hang in there. It will all pay off. God really answered all my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to put my name. Tati

Amanda said...

so i'm a little late in responding to this post, but i wanted to say thank you :)
it's really encouraged me to embrace life as it is now, to enjoy it, and to not concentrate so much on relationships, because it all comes in due time. thank you (: