Sunday, October 25, 2009

learning to trust God

I wish I knew how to trust God more.

I have a lot of "head knowledge" when it comes to trusting God. I know the Bible says to not be anxious about anything, and usually I'm not. I've never been one to worry.
Lately, though, I am more anxious than ever. School, finances, moving, Denver, etc etc etc. My thoughts are consumed with worry. I wonder how we'll make ends meet. I wonder how I'll pass all my classes. I wonder how we'll make the move to Denver. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.
Maybe I just need to be still.

As I was worrying last night I realized I spend far too much time thinking about ME ME ME. I've taken my focus off of God. I've taken my eyes off of Jesus and focused them on the scary rushing wind that surrounds me. And now I'm sinking...and I'm sure God is just shaking his head saying, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

I need to seek God first. I need to glorify Him and honor Him whether I am in need or not. God has a plan for us. I do not need to worry or doubt or make myself sick with anxiety. The Lord is sovereign. The Lord provides. Remember His promises.

A helpful passage that I read this week is Psalm 143:5-8.
5I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all that you have done;
I ponder the work of your hands.
6I stretch out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
7Answer me quickly, O LORD!
My spirit fails!
Hide not your face from me,
lest I be like those who go down to the pit.
8Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

So even though I still experience doubt at times, I'm learning to trust God. What do you do when you're struggling with doubt? How are you reminded of God's provision and sovereignty?How are you reminded of God's goodness despite your circumstances?


Oli said...

You are not alone in this. I too find myself worrying from time to time over making ends meet. I feel so bad not trusting in Him more. But I do pray everyday that He helps me to have more faith and to guide me spiritually toward the path he has laid out for me. I will pray for you and yours tonight.
God Bless.

Fawn said...

I struggle with doubt. I think everyone does (if you say you don't-- you lie) :) I have to keep reminding myself that He's got it. I pray and just move forward. I'll be praying for you my friend..i'm excited for what God has for you.